the terror of children

Wow. Wow. I am never, ever, ever having children. Ever. At least not until they're five years old. Tori was dropped off around 8 o'clock last night, a little shy at first, but shortly after Mommy left, she was showing us her dolls and stuffed monkey, and asking to watch movies. We started off with Finding Nemo, then five minutes later switched over to Shrek, then popped in Monsters Inc. while Jill and BJ went to find Shrek 2, which was at BJ's place. Then we watched Shrek 2.

Then there was the crayons. Jill brought out her coloring book for Tori to color in, and I brought out my box o' crayons. Tori proceeded to dump all but three boxes of crayons, only because I wouldn't let her dump the three big boxes of crayons out on the floor. Only one crayon was broken the entire evening, I am still quite impressed. After she was done coloring, Jill and I proceeded to sort and box up the rest of the crayons, which was quite the task, as there are at least 10 different kinds of crayons that I have, and some of them were doubled up, so we had to sort them out into seperate boxes.

Afterwards, we played some hide and seek, running around the house, dancing to the songs on Shrek 2, and played knock knock on Jill's door for about half an hour. Then it was bedtime. So we brought Shrek 2 into my bedroom and watched 2 more times. Well, one and a half more times. She whined and said she wanted her sippy cup, and that she needed more milk, and that she had to pee, and asked "What's that?" every five seconds during a movie we'd already watched twice. I slept in my bed the regular way, and she slept in my bed at the foot of the bed, going across the bed, instead of up and down, so I could barely move my legs the whole night. Not that I got that much sleep, anyway. One thirty in the morning was when the television turned itself off, and I told her (for the nth time) that she needed to go to bed and the movie was over.

Now comes morning. Very early. I thought I could get out of bed without her noticing, but she did and followed me out to the living room, where I turned the television onto the Disney Channel and we watched all kinds of scary cartoons that I've never seen before. Jill woke up, we had breakfast, and Tori had 3 spoonfuls of cereal and decided she didn't want the rest of it.

Arg. I have no patience for children. She was very demanding, loud, whiney, and just generally very exhausting. I didn't get a lot of sleep tonight, I'll probably end up taking a nap here in a few hours, after I wash all my sheets and comforters and get rid of the kid germs that are all over them. I think we should just Lysol the entire apartment. Dirty, slobbery, germy kids. Ick.